Faith Talks: Invisible Contracts

Faith Talks with Ashanti Bentil Dhue

Some topics get pushed into the shadows, and many of us have been told to stay quiet about them. In this edition of Faith Talks, host Jennifer R. Farmer sits down with writer, speaker, and cultural strategist Ashanti Bentil-Dhue, founder of Unpunishable Woman and creator of the Invisible Contract Framework, original research on the unwritten rules that shape how women live, work, and relate.

• Together they explore:
  • How marriage functions as an “invisible contract,” and what single women of faith experience in church and community
  • What young women are (and aren’t) taught about sexuality, consent, and bodily autonomy
  • Why faith communities must distinguish healthy, consensual sex from sexual trauma, and why prayer alone isn’t an adequate response
  • Why modesty conversations can’t be treated as protection from predators
  • How parents, aunties, and trusted adults can start age-appropriate, ongoing conversations that build real safety
  • How to hold faith and honest self-examination together, without choosing between them

Ashanti also shares candidly about her own internal conflict over whether she’s “doing God’s work,” and Jennifer reflects on the power of naming what we’ve long felt but couldn’t articulate.

Content note: this conversation includes discussion of sexual trauma. Jennifer opens with an invitation to care for yourself in whatever way you need, including stepping away and returning later.

About the Guest:

Ashanti Bentil-Dhue is a writer, speaker, and cultural strategist based in New York. She is the founder of Unpunishable Woman and the creator of the Invisible Contracts Framework – original research examining the unwritten rules that shape how women live, work, and relate. Her work reaches over 250,000 people globally across TikTok, YouTube, Substack, and podcasts, with an audience of primarily single professional women navigating money, identity, and autonomy on their own terms.